


Convince Me

by Xenobotanist



Category: Star Trek: Deep Space Nine
Genre: Episode: s07e25 What You Leave Behind, Fix-It, Love Confessions, M/M, Requited Love, Traditional Garashir
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-20
Updated: 2021-02-20
Packaged: 2021-03-16 06:28:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,779
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29571765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xenobotanist/pseuds/Xenobotanist
Summary: Cardassia is saved, and Garak is returning home.Instead of letting him leave alone, Julian offers to join him.
Relationships: Julian Bashir & Elim Garak, Julian Bashir/Elim Garak
Comments: 23
Kudos: 88





	Convince Me

**Author's Note:**

> Happy Weekend to those of you who are on here daily!  
> Yes, this trope has been done many times before (even by me). But it's just so full of FEELS, you know?  
> -  
> Also, random note: decimated = reduced by one tenth (it's a pet peeve and relevant to Garak's speech)

“You’ve been such a good friend. I’m going to _miss_ our lunches together.”

Julian dropped his head, then looked back up, something unfathomable in his eyes. “Garak. This is insane. You don’t have to go alone. I could- I could help you. I could go get my bags and stay. For a while. Help you get back on your feet. Do you even have a place to go?”

Garak stilled, his face blank. But then he stepped closer and dropped a hand on Julian’s shoulder. “I’ll find a place. Don’t worry about me, Doctor. The offer is most kind, your most generous yet. But wholly unnecessary.”

“I know it’s not necessary, Garak. You can take care of yourself. But what I’m saying is you _don’t have to._ You’re my friend. It’s what friends do. I can take time off. I’m certain Starfleet would grant it.”

“I’m not sure they would. Doctors are in high demand right now. Especially ones of your caliber.” Garak removed his hand and turned to the side, eyes shifting across the blinking displays. 

Julian stepped closer, angling over the console to get his friend’s attention. “But if they did? Would you consider it?”

Garak rotated further, avoiding his stare. He leaned over, pressing his hands into the cold metal and glass. “Doctor, I would never dream to ask this of you. It goes far beyond our lunches and afternoon strolls.”

“You’re _not_ asking me. I’m offering it. Garak, I care about you. Surely you know that. Everything you’ve said to me, all the time we’ve spent together, it means something. To me.” Julian reached out, paused, then laid his hand on Garak’s arm. “ _You_ mean something to me.”

Garak half turned his head and raised his brow ridges, eyes flicking to the Human and then away. “I can’t tell you how much that means to me. To hear that from you. It makes my time on the station seem somehow less… in vain.”

Julian stepped back and clasped his hands in satisfaction. “Then it’s settled. I’ll contact Captain Sisko. I can ask Miles and Ezri to look after my things, maybe put a few items in storage, talk to Starfleet Medical about-”

“Julian, _no.”_

The doctor froze. Never once had Garak used his first name.

“You’re not coming with me. You have no idea what you’d be getting into. Cardassia hasn’t just been decimated; it’s been _demolished_. We’re not talking about a simple rescue mission. This is practically starting from the sand up. The first few months will be nothing except the barest means of survival- scavenging for shelter, food, and water, fighting off disease and bandits. Clearing the rubble. Burying the dead. And then following close behind will be the organizing, repair, recovery. Rebuilding an entire planet. And what could you really _give_ , anyway? Hm? A few weeks, a month at the most before you’re called back?” Garak finally looked straight at him. “Stay on Deep Space Nine. Stay with your infirmary, your friends, your home. There’s nothing on Cardassia for you but well-earned tragedy.”

“And now _you_.” Julian’s brow puckered up in distress. “I can’t in good conscience just leave you to that by yourself.”

“I won’t be alone. I’ll have my fellow countrymen. I’m sure I’ll be able to find one or two left who may yet still acknowledge me.”

“But until then. What will you do until you find them? Who will you talk to? Where will you turn if you get injured? Or sick? I have a few connections. I could bring tents, food, clothing, generators, water filters. Med kits. Dust masks.” Julian bit his lip. “I mean, I can send you those anyway, whether or not I come along. But I could be so much more help if I was _with_ you.”

Garak’s shoulders drooped. “You’re making this goodbye much more difficult that I expected.” The words were accusatory, but there was no bite behind them. Just a tired, careworn resignation.

“Then don’t let it _be_ goodbye.”

They took a minute to quietly scan the room, lost in thought among the lights and maps. As one, they sighed. A small smile flitted over both faces at the shared moment but faded away just as quickly.

Pressing his lips together, Julian made a sound of distress. “Garak, I don’t know if I’m ready to say goodbye to you. Jadzia’s gone and Miles is moving back to Earth... I’m losing everyone that was close to me.”

“What about Ms. Ezri?”

“Ezri is… she’s great. Really. But I’ve only known her a few months, and I’ve known you for seven _years._ She’d understand my wanting to help out. She’s incredibly sweet and compassionate. That’s one of the things I-” 

Julian broke off and shook his head. Twisting his hands, he sucked in a deep breath. “Garak, did you ever think about- that is, did you ever want to…” He swallowed with difficulty. “Did you ever see me as anything more than a friend? More than a lunch partner, or someone to discuss literature with?” He peered up with uncertainty, eyes searching. 

Garak didn’t answer. He took in their surroundings, alien and impersonal. “A Dominion briefing room. I never expected to set foot in one, let alone have it as the setting for this discussion.” He walked to the other side. “I need to sit down. Join me.”

They each took a chair, adjusting them to face one another at a diagonal slant. Julian rested his elbows on his knees, looking perplexed; Garak sat as stiffly as ever but appeared thoughtful if exhausted.

“I’ll have you know that I first approached you with little more in mind than taking you to bed.” 

Garak said it to be jarring, for an effect, but Julian was far beyond being surprised by his mercurial friend at this stage in their relationship. He merely nodded. “Yes, that did occur to me. I always wondered why you didn’t. I would have been amenable, you know, although not if I had known you were high on the implant. But even after that was over and you got better, I still would have been willing.”

Garak widened his eyes in surprise. “I’ll admit that I was completely unaware.”

Julian gave a half smile. “Well, I have been known to be able to keep a secret or two.” 

“Yes. Yes you have. And so much more thoroughly than I gave you credit for.”

“I _wanted_ to tell you my other secret, about my augmentation. I thought if anyone would understand, it’d be you. Getting altered to please someone you looked up to. I almost _did_ say something, after I removed the wire.”

Garak studied his hands. “Secrets have a way of coming out in their own time. And if they never do, then they’re probably the kind that should never see the light of day at all.”

Julian scooted his chair forward. “Then this must be the right time to share my final secret. Because I can’t imagine hiding it forever.”

Garak tilted his head, more curious than he felt he ought to be. “Don’t tell me I overlooked something else significant. You don’t have a wife and children hidden away somewhere, do you? You’ve been blackmailed into working for the Orion Syndicate? If you tell me that you’ve been helping Quar-”

“I’m in love with you.”

Garak froze, mouth still open mid-word. He blinked slowly. 

“I have been for some time, really. And you never knew?” Julian smiled softly. “Some spy you are.” When no response was forthcoming, he continued. “I love you, Elim Garak. And I don’t want to let you go.”

When he spoke, the Cardassian’s voice was breathless. “That’s… not what I expected.”

Julian left his chair to kneel on the floor. He set his hands lightly on Garak’s knees. “ _That’s_ why I want to go with you. I can’t imagine living without you. Somewhere between holosuite costumes and lunches and birthday gifts and shuttles and battles,” he gripped tighter, “you’ve become a part of me. A stubborn, mysterious, and occasionally infuriating part, but also humorous and caring, determined, and so _so_ brave.”

“Julian…” The utterance was barely audible. Garak’s hands twitched, one on the seat of the chair and one on the arm. His body leaned forward ever so slightly as if he wasn’t even aware it had done so.

“Garak, if you said yes, I’d go to Cardassia with you and never leave. I’d heal your wounds and help you build a home, and read with you every night and argue with you every morning. And don’t tell me that doesn’t sound appealing to you, because that’s the entire premise around at least three of the books you’ve lent me.”

“Doctor, do you have _any_ idea what you’re saying?”

“Honestly, no I don’t. I haven't practiced any of this. But I’ve been thinking about it. And I mean it. Every word.”

Garak patted his hand. “Get up off that floor.” Julian scrambled back into his seat. “Let me speak for a minute, and this time without interruption”. The Human nodded.

“Doctor. I’ve watched you since you first set foot on this station. How you regarded everything with such an _eager_ and passionate curiosity.” He waved an arm outward. “How you greeted each day as a new adventure or mystery to be solved. And I saw how as each year passed by you grew more mature and wise, yes, but also more… serious. And cautious. More grave.” His hand fell. “And then, with the war, with our imprisonment, your outing as a genetically enhanced individual, and then the lamentable death of your dear friend Jadzia- your smiles grew fewer, your eyes more sad. You became jaded. Disillusioned. _Distant_. And nothing has pained me more than seeing you lose that… that spark.”

Julian frowned, nonplussed. “Nothing- Not even Cardassia?”

Garak huffed. “Yes, you have me there. My most grievous wound has always been my exile. But in regards to my life on the station, ever has my attention revolved around you. _You_ have been my shining star, my beacon of kindness and cheer, my reminder that there are indeed good people in this universe who make life worth living.”

“Then… you love me too?”

“I’m afraid that’s beside the point. I don’t want you coming to Cardassia because I want you to be happy, my dear. I want you to be surrounded by comfort and friends. Not digging through rubble with an aging tailor.”

“I don’t care about digging. Or your age. I care about the person who taught me to take my time. To really consider things from all angles. To broaden my tastes in reading and music. Who would just as easily discuss medicine with me as philosophy or politics. Garak, there really is no one else quite like you.” He let his mouth quick up impishly. “Do you know how hard it is to find someone with a brilliant mind _and_ fashion sense?”

Garak seemed to smile despite himself. “I do indeed. The closest I’ve come is a young man with a brilliant mind whose face is so ridiculously charming that his abysmal fashion sense could _almost_ be overlooked.”

Julian bounced in his chair a little, as if he might leap out of it again. “There’s a way to remedy that, you know.”

“Is there now.”

“Dress him. Choose his clothes. I promise, he’ll wear whatever you say.”

They spent a few seconds in speculative silence before Garak spoke again. “We’re straying too far from the topic, Doctor. What I’m _trying_ to say is that you’ve been through enough already. This war has been hard on you. Maybe even more so than your crewmates, because you have a softer heart. I don’t want to stifle what joy you have left. If you come with me to Cardassia, there will be more struggles. More pain. More death.”

The Human bristled with indignation. “But you've been doing this so much longer than I! _Years_ longer. You’ve seen far more pain and death. It isn’t fair that I should be done and you should have to keep fighting.” 

“Don’t worry about me. I’m a survivor, my dear. I don’t know how to do anything else.” Garak’s eyes were warm and fond, but oh so somber as well. 

Julian stood up and paced behind his chair, then strode back and sat against a console that faced his friend. Garak watched silently as he fidgeted. 

“I can’t decide if you’re being gallant, a coward, or an idiot. Maybe all three. I do believe that you want me to be happy and you’re trying to spare me any hardships. But I also think you are afraid of caring about me, of feeling _sentimental_ , and maybe even being happy. But there’s also a chance that you feel the need to prove that you can do all this on your own without any help, like there’s some sort of prize for not being dependent on anyone.” Julian straightened up and crossed his arms. “Well, guess what. That’s bollocks.”

Garak stood too, realizing too late just how close they were, in height and in proximity. “Doctor, I-”

“No, I’m not done yet. Thus far you’ve always taken the lead, and I’ve followed willingly. I’ve always deferred to your judgement in plans of action, due to your depth of knowledge and experience. But this time I have to disagree. You think that I’ll be better off staying on Deep Space Nine without you. I think I’ll be happier _with_ you, _helping_ you, and goddamit, _loving_ you on Cardassia. So there.” He shut his mouth and warily watched the blank face only a handspan away. 

“That’s twice now you’ve interrupted me. I’m not sure I approve.”

“Well, you better get used to it.”

“Why is that?”

“Because I’m coming with you.” They locked eyes, Garak with his chin slightly raised and Julian’s lips tight and shoulders heaving slightly from his diatribe. He inched closer until their chests were nearly touching. “Now are you going to kiss me or not?”

Garak held his gaze, blue eyes a swirl of emotion. “I thought you were taking the lead this time.”

“Oh.” Julian’s palms became instantly sweaty, and his back prickled in apprehension. His stomach tightened beneath the jumble of butterflies fluttering through his chest. Could this really be happening? If he seized this chance, would Garak accept it, respond back? He’d waited years for a sign, and now he was afraid he was misreading it. But everything was on the line at this point, wasn’t it? If he didn’t make a move, Garak would leave and never return. And that was a risk he wasn’t willing to take.

He knew his resolve must have shown on his face, because Garak’s expression flitted from placid to shocked to yearning, all in the fraction of a second. Julian leaned forward, his hands raising on their own, one to grasp an arm and the other to curl around a ridged jaw. And then they were dipping their heads and closing their eyes, and their breaths mingled, tickling fine hairs and scales. There was the briefest flare of heat before their lips met, and then there wasn’t any hesitation at all.

Just skin to skin, mouth to mouth with soft, delicate presses that grew more insistent with each touch. Hands on the waist drawing them together, faces tilting for a better angle, feet slotting next to each other as thighs met. 

The kiss turned hungrier, more impassioned, as their mouths opened and tongues tangled, and Julian’s hand slid backwards into Garak’s hair for a better grip. They both hummed, or moaned, and their holds melted into an embrace as they tasted each other and brushed noses tenderly.

But all at once they broke the seal and tucked their heads over each other’s shoulders in a fierce hug they’d denied themselves for years. Julian nuzzled into Garak’s shoulder ridge while Garak scented the skin behind his ear, warm and familiar. Their arms tightened compulsively, squeezing harder than was strictly necessary, but it seemed to alleviate all of the hurt and longing and frustration that had built up inside and finally release the tension between them. 

After a solid thirty seconds they loosened their arms but didn’t let go. Instead, they relaxed and curled into each other, almost swaying to the music beating in their hearts. “Take me home with you, Elim,” Julian murmured softly into the gray skin, tears filling his eyes.

Garak blinked too, cursing the dust in the air. “Cardassia is where I’ve always belonged. But my dear doctor, my Julian, it never would have been fully home without you.”

**Author's Note:**

> I hope I'm not clogging up everyone's feed and inboxes. My OCD makes it actually physically painful to not post a story or chapter of a current fic every 3 days. I'm trying to hold off to 5 (yay, making progress!) and the next step will be 7.  
> This story was just a sort of "clearing the cobwebs," but I have some new ones in the works to come out soon. Possibly 2 explicit ones and another that's... angsty bubblegum (I really don't know how else to describe it).  
> Thanks for reading!  
> As always, I survive on Kudos, Comments, and Caffeine <3


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